Hiding Food in your Bra: Motherhood’s Small Sacrifices
If you are a mommy, brand-new, mommy-in-training, veteran mommy, or other, then you know that motherhood comes with a host of big and small sacrifices…And at the end of the day, they’re all worth it… In the meantime though, some of the smallest sacrifices we endure from our little ones are straight up hilarious, and definitely worth sharing…
So I come home from work yesterday with my 2 adorable little angels, tired and hungry as a bear…I set everyone on their respective mini-chairs, with a toy, a book and a snack, and proceed to the pantry as fast I can muster…I had been dreaming all day long about this one piece of French baguette left over from dinner the day before…hmmm…And there is was, waiting for me in all its doughy glory…Alleluia! There is hope in this world after all… So, in the space of a few seconds, bread warmed up in the oven? Check. “I can’t believe it’s butter” but it’s really butter out on the counter? Check. Boursin cheese that’s been stashed in the fridge corner for days? Check. Hmmm….life IS good!
That is…until my little clairvoyant, too small for her own good, toddler, comes around the kitchen corner wagging her little itty-bitty inquisitive finger at me:
“Mommy, what you got?”
“Mommy, I want bread.”
“No you don’t”
“Yes I does.”
“There’s no more bread, sweetie”
“Yes there is…it’s behind your back, Mommy.”
“But Mommy gave you a cookie, sweetie”
“I don’t want cookie, I want bread!”
Are you kidding me? I’ve been dreaming about this bread all day long…It feels so warm and moist in my hand hidden behind my back…It’s just not fair! In addition to taking away my slim waistline and perky boobs, my child also wants my piece of bread, the last one, with the butter and cheese on it! No!
“Sweetie, your cookie looks so good, hmmm….you should eat it.”
“No, I want bread!”
“Bread is yucky”
“No it doesn’t!”
Maybe if I take a quick bite, I can still taste it, before the inevitable sharing session. Just one bite…hmmm, sooo good!
“Mommy, don’t eat my bread!”
“Just a little bit for mommy, sweetie. Remember, sharing is caring” (blah blah blah)
“No give me…open your mouth Mommy.”
And the unthinkable happens, as the child pries open my mouth in search of the piece of bread stuck between my tongue and cheek.
“No you cannot look in Mommy’s mouth. That’s a no-no.”
“I want THE bread” (Ok, now we’re getting really specific)
“There’s no more sweetie’ (maybe I can still get away with this one)
“Yes, it is…it’s in your boobies, you put in your boobies”
Yes, you guessed right, defeat was inevitable! I didn’t eat the bread, and couldn’t even be mad at the cutest little creature who not only took the bread of my dreams, but did not even end up eating it after all…
The joys of parenthood…Happy Thursday!